Teen Dating Violence
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- Is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?
- Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinions seriously?
- Puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him or her?
- Scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
- Is violent? Has a history of fighting? Loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
- Pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex? Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
- Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
- Has a history of failed relationships? And blames the other person for all the problems?
- Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
If you answered yes to any of these questions:
You could be the victim of dating abuse. Dating violence or abuse affects one in ten couples. Abuse isn't just hitting. It's yelling, threatening, name-calling, saying I'll kill myself if you leave me, obsessive phone calling, and extreme possessiveness.
- Tell your parents, a friends, a counselor, a clergyman, or someone else whom you trust and who can help. The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
- Alert the school counselor or security officer
- Keep a daily log of the abuse
- Do not meet your partner alone. Do not let him or her in your home or car when you are alone
- Avoid being alone at school, your job, on the way to and from places
- Tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back
- Most teens talk to other teens about their problems. If a friend tells you he or she is being victimized, here are some suggestions on how you can help.
- If you notice a friend is in an abusive relationship, don't ignore signs of abuse. Talk to your friend.
- Express your concerns. Tell your friend you're worried. Support, don't judge.
- Point out your friend's strengths- many people in abusive relationships are no longer capable of seeing their own abilities and gifts.
- Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult. Talk to a trusted adult if you believe the situation is getting worse. Offer to go with them for help.
- Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim's partner. Don't be a mediator.
- Call the police if you witness an assault. Tell an adult- a school principle, parent, guidance counselor.
- Start a peer education program on teen dating violence.
- Ask your school library to purchase books about living without violence and the cycle of domestic violence.
- Create bulletin boards in the school cafeteria or classroom to raise awareness.
- Perform a play about teen dating violence.