Font Size:

Are you going out with someone who...

  • Is jealous and possessive, won't let you have friends, checks up on you, won't accept breaking up?
  • Tries to control you by being very bossy, giving orders, making all the decisions, not taking your opinions seriously?
  • Puts you down in front of friends, tells you that you would be nothing without him or her?
  • Scares you? Makes you worry about reactions to things you say or do? Threatens you? Uses or owns weapons?
  • Is violent? Has a history of fighting? Loses temper quickly, brags about mistreating others? Grabs, pushes, shoves, or hits you?
  • Pressures you for sex or is forceful or scary about sex? Gets too serious about the relationship too fast?
  • Abuses alcohol or other drugs and pressures you to take them?
  • Has a history of failed relationships? And blames the other person for all the problems?
  • Makes your family and friends uneasy and concerned for your safety?
If you answered yes to any of these questions:

You could be the victim of dating abuse. Dating violence or abuse affects one in ten couples. Abuse isn't just hitting. It's yelling, threatening, name-calling, saying I'll kill myself if you leave me, obsessive phone calling, and extreme possessiveness.

Back to Top

What if Your Partner is Abusing You and You Want Out?

  • Tell your parents, a friends, a counselor, a clergyman, or someone else whom you trust and who can help. The more isolated you are from friends and family, the more control the abuser has over you.
  • Alert the school counselor or security officer
  • Keep a daily log of the abuse
  • Do not meet your partner alone. Do not let him or her in your home or car when you are alone
  • Avoid being alone at school, your job, on the way to and from places
  • Tell someone where you are going and when you plan to be back

Back to Top

How To Be a Friend To a Victim of Teen Dating Violence

  • Most teens talk to other teens about their problems. If a friend tells you he or she is being victimized, here are some suggestions on how you can help.
  • If you notice a friend is in an abusive relationship, don't ignore signs of abuse. Talk to your friend.
  • Express your concerns. Tell your friend you're worried. Support, don't judge.
  • Point out your friend's strengths- many people in abusive relationships are no longer capable of seeing their own abilities and gifts.
  • Encourage them to confide in a trusted adult. Talk to a trusted adult if you believe the situation is getting worse. Offer to go with them for help.
  • Never put yourself in a dangerous situation with the victim's partner. Don't be a mediator.
  • Call the police if you witness an assault. Tell an adult- a school principle, parent, guidance counselor.

Back to Top

What Can You Do?

  • Start a peer education program on teen dating violence.
  • Ask your school library to purchase books about living without violence and the cycle of domestic violence.
  • Create bulletin boards in the school cafeteria or classroom to raise awareness.
  • Perform a play about teen dating violence.

Back to Top